Asides, Skits and Lost Conversations
by Quietly Making Noise
Summary: A series of self-contained short skits from things that happened to me while I was playing, or from events that are mentioned but never shown... Latest: "Keterburg Hotel: Flame".
1. Extreme Cooking 1: Sandwiches

_Burnt Sandwich was cooked._

* * *

"... Oops."

All heads turned to the firepit, where Jade had his back to everyone and was hunched over the provisions sack. "Oops?" repeated Anise.

"Colonel, is something wrong?" Tear was the first to stand and make a move towards the fire. The effect on Jade was electric: he swept something aside with one hand and tugged a sack over the plate with the other. Guy and Natalia exchanged glances, and Guy was the first to grin. "Say Jade, when is that food going to be ready? I'm starving."

"I too am rather hungry," volunteered Natalia.

"And we all know you're good at making decent food with what little we have," added Guy. "Unlike some people."

"Hey! Shut up!" protested Luke. "At least I don't make riceballs with rappig!"

"Fine, mister one-slice-of-bread-folded-in-half-with-a-lemon."

"Uuuugh." Anise made a face. "So Colonel, when will your delicious sandwiches be ready?"

Seeing the gleam in Anise's eyes, Tear caught on. "Well?"

"..."

"... ?"

"... This bread is not suitable for consumption," began Jade, pushing his glasses up. "Since it was a certain person's turn to carry the provisions, the slices have transformed into mush rather than—"

"Don't you dare pin this on me!" countered Luke, rising and striding over. "What have you done to the sandwiches?"

The rest of them were closing in. Jade sighed, accepting defeat, and twitched aside the sacking.

They stared at what should have been a sandwich.

Natalia's disbelief found words first. "Burnt..? But... _how_?"

"I have to admit Jade, that is quite an achievement," said Guy, clearly enjoying himself.

"How the hell did you manage to burn sandwiches?!" burst out Luke.

"I think I'll keep that one to myself," countered Jade, cool as ever, and he casually removed his glasses and began cleaning the lenses.

Luke realised everyone was staring at the innocuous-looking glasses with something approaching alarm. "What?"

"Yes," said Natalia carefully. "Perhaps there are some secrets to cooking we have all yet to master..."


	2. Keterburg Hotel: Flame

_ANISE: Huh? What about the maybe-not-so-bad-after-all Colonel?_

_ION: I saw him walk off with a pretty woman earlier..._

* * *

**Keterberg, night of the Tartarus' arrival.**

* * *

"I must admit Jade, I never imagined you working with a rag-tag band of children and a talking cheegle."

"Yes. They certainly figures high on the list of improbable companions."

"How do you put up with them? They must be unbearable."

"They can at times be trying company. Though they each have their merits. The game consists in fuelling them sufficiently without letting them flare out of control."

"Do you ever think about just leaving them to burn? To get on with it by themselves?"

The ever-present smile in Jade's eyes spread down to his lips. "Now why would you be asking me that?"

She turned her back on the square and leaned on the railing, looking sideways at him. "Some people in this city remember you rather differently."

"And here I thought you didn't care."

"I don't."

"Oh? That explains why you haven't told your husband you're out here."

"..."

* * *

"Nice walk?"

Jade wasn't entirely surprised by the question. "Yes, thank you. Didn't you feel like taking a wander yourself?" He left his snowy boots on the rack behind the door to the room and donned the complementary slippers provided by the hotel. Like the girls', the boys' suite consisted of three bedrooms attached to a salon. Luke's door was already shut and locked. Guy was standing by the window staring out over the shivering city.

"Nah, not for me. Too cold. I guess you're used to it though if you grew up here." He still hadn't looked up from the glass. Jade wandered over, hands ensconced in his pockets, sensing Guy hadn't finished. "... So who was she?"

"Hm? Oh, just an acquaintance, from my younger days."

"And she tracked you down?"

"News travels fast in a town where talk is almost as valid a currency as gald. It's been many years since I returned to Keterburg. Apparently she had been waiting for this opportunity. ...My my, are you upset with me, Guy? Or is it envy?"

The swordsman clenched his jaw and folded his arms, still leaning on the window. He did an admirable job at feigning a lighter mood. "You're kidding me, right? Why would I be jealous?"

"Because a woman waited for me. Or because I kissed her without turning into a quivering wreck. Or because I kissed _her_..."

The change of emphasis, pitched to carry right into his ear, worked its charm. Guy looked up. Dispassionately, Jade monitored the expression in his eyes, and filed the moment away for future reference. "Don't ever imagine you are alone," he said, only realising the true depth of the statement as the words formed, and turned to leave. "No one ever is."

"Jade..."

Jade stopped, without turning around. "..."

"Stop it. You're not as cold as you like to think."

The Colonel smirked. "Believe me when I tell you I congratulate myself on having warmed up a lot as I've aged. I anticipate combustion at about sixty. Good night."


End file.
